What do you do when all else fails for you and you are torn to pieces?
I believe at one point in everyone of our lives we come to a fork in the road facing a monumental choice. Well maybe its not a choice, maybe it's a regret that haunts you, maybe it is a sickness that ails you. I know for me every one of those things has happened to me at least once. My biggest disturbance of anything is watching people in pain or suffering.
I have a baby cousin (Nicky Shust), he is 2 years old and has a disease that is killing him. Literally. Mind you the kids two, he has a 104.5 temp currently, and pnemonia. The disease he has makes him have a feeding tube up his nose and a tube to his tummy that helps him breathe without aspirating. I can't tell you exactly what he has, cause honestly I don't know. His father is Aaron Shust, if you know who he is, he is a Christian musician. Probably the most determined, Godly, faithful, and loving man I have ever met. This is deff Satan trying to get his way into their lives but God testing the faith of the Shust family and the friends and family around them.
There is an up to being a christian musician and your son being ill. You get extreme amounts of prayer. But this is what I ask of whomever is reading this, you may not believe in God, or anything of that sort. I am asking you personally, this is a childs life on the line, keep him in your prayers, thoughts or anything. He needs healing and pray for his family for peace, imagine the anxiety they are going through.
This is deff one of my shorter blogs but for some reason its been haunting me all day to post something about him. You can follow/read what is going on in his twitter or his blog at...
Twitter:http://twitter.com/aaronshust
Blog: http://aaronshust.blogspot.com/
Once again please read and pray for him.
Much love,
Sara c. Barry
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Reluctant or Ready here it comes. Reality.
I don't know about you but there are only a good few things that really terrify me...Spiders, pigs, and College. For the past good 6 months since about when the seniors left, all I have been flooded with "What am I going to do when I grow up?" When you're little it's simple; A princess, a mommy, a firefighter, or a policeman. Now it's more like criminal psychologist, child psychologist, social worker, or something in the medical field.
Just recently I got accepted to Saginaw Valley State University (SVSU). At first I was thrilled, thinking, "OK, I somewhat have an idea of where I want to go now, I'm set." Then it hit me... you are officially going to be thrown into the real world in a mere 203 days whether you are reluctant or ready.Being a senior everything is put into reality mode, you literally are basically making hard core life choices at 17 and 18. When you click Submit for that college that you have wanted to go to since you were a freshman, it's a weird gut feeling of relief, excitement and the unknown.
As a Freshman I remember walking into the doors of Troy High School with my sister thinking, "OK, 4 years from now, I will be walking out these same doors that I came into today a completely different person." I watched my sister go through the whole application process and scholarship thing when she was a Junior and I was a Freshman. I was naive and had no idea of what high school had in front of me. Freshman year was def my growing year.As a Sophomore I met friends that would be my best friends and then be my worst enemies at one point. Although they were the people that made me stronger and have now helped me in the situation of college now. I remember sitting in the audience watching my sister walk across the stage and receiving her diploma, as that age I still had no care in the world thinking its to far away to care about. Junior year, it hits you. Hello to 3 days of pure testing and anguishing pressure for your life ahead of you. You have to start thinking about college and where you want to go. It is the critical year they tell you. One memory I have of Junior year is sitting in my third hour when the Seniors of '10 were let out of their classes for the Senior Picnic. I heard the slamming of doors opening and closing, a stampede of feet towards the door exiting for the last time, their screams echoing through the halls sounding of pure joy. I texted all my friends "It's here, Senior year, we are the ones who rule the school, one year left, Seniors '11"
Now, here we are today November 18th 2010, I am a Senior and have finally made it. All those thoughts of thinking how simple this year would be have gone out the window. Although, in my hardest year I have the best grades I ever have. Now I just have to make it these 203 days. The day of graduation I am going to be that girl crying her eyes out. If you have ever thought about it you spend more time with the kids that you go to school with than most of your family. I put it into the explanation to my mom as "These kids are like your family, you fight and bicker with them, but then there are times when you are united and the best of friends."Now think about that, more than likely, unless you are going to MSU or CMU or a common college for us THS kids, we wont see each other again. Maybe at the reunions but who actually goes to those? So what I am saying is I think it's time to live with out regrets, enjoy every moment we have with each other. These are some of the last, and best memories we want to have of highschool although we have half a year left :)
So I think in a since I will be reluctant to be leaving all who've been when since I was a toddler. But I am ready to leave this hum-hoe town and make a name of myself.
Much love,
Sara B.
Just recently I got accepted to Saginaw Valley State University (SVSU). At first I was thrilled, thinking, "OK, I somewhat have an idea of where I want to go now, I'm set." Then it hit me... you are officially going to be thrown into the real world in a mere 203 days whether you are reluctant or ready.Being a senior everything is put into reality mode, you literally are basically making hard core life choices at 17 and 18. When you click Submit for that college that you have wanted to go to since you were a freshman, it's a weird gut feeling of relief, excitement and the unknown.
As a Freshman I remember walking into the doors of Troy High School with my sister thinking, "OK, 4 years from now, I will be walking out these same doors that I came into today a completely different person." I watched my sister go through the whole application process and scholarship thing when she was a Junior and I was a Freshman. I was naive and had no idea of what high school had in front of me. Freshman year was def my growing year.As a Sophomore I met friends that would be my best friends and then be my worst enemies at one point. Although they were the people that made me stronger and have now helped me in the situation of college now. I remember sitting in the audience watching my sister walk across the stage and receiving her diploma, as that age I still had no care in the world thinking its to far away to care about. Junior year, it hits you. Hello to 3 days of pure testing and anguishing pressure for your life ahead of you. You have to start thinking about college and where you want to go. It is the critical year they tell you. One memory I have of Junior year is sitting in my third hour when the Seniors of '10 were let out of their classes for the Senior Picnic. I heard the slamming of doors opening and closing, a stampede of feet towards the door exiting for the last time, their screams echoing through the halls sounding of pure joy. I texted all my friends "It's here, Senior year, we are the ones who rule the school, one year left, Seniors '11"
Now, here we are today November 18th 2010, I am a Senior and have finally made it. All those thoughts of thinking how simple this year would be have gone out the window. Although, in my hardest year I have the best grades I ever have. Now I just have to make it these 203 days. The day of graduation I am going to be that girl crying her eyes out. If you have ever thought about it you spend more time with the kids that you go to school with than most of your family. I put it into the explanation to my mom as "These kids are like your family, you fight and bicker with them, but then there are times when you are united and the best of friends."Now think about that, more than likely, unless you are going to MSU or CMU or a common college for us THS kids, we wont see each other again. Maybe at the reunions but who actually goes to those? So what I am saying is I think it's time to live with out regrets, enjoy every moment we have with each other. These are some of the last, and best memories we want to have of highschool although we have half a year left :)
So I think in a since I will be reluctant to be leaving all who've been when since I was a toddler. But I am ready to leave this hum-hoe town and make a name of myself.
Much love,
Sara B.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Welcome.
Basically a 2 week old post, never got to finish it,
There's something about the smell of the leaves, and the cool crisp wind, and the screams of fans in the football stands that make me love fall. Being in highschool, fall means; homecoming, and best of all... football games.
Welcome to Troy, where you are either pop into the world wearing a football, soccer, or cheerleading uniform. Friday nights up through your whole school career consists of competitions, games, and events. Your parents expect you and insist you excel in sports AND education. The rivalry between the two high schools (Troy and Athens) are unreal, up to the point where one school will steal the others beloved mascot. I love high school, I love the superior rivalry to the two schools. I love the football games the most. This Friday, October 22nd 2010, war will begin. Athens and Troy High will face off again for another game. One side of the stands will be a wave of black and white, while the other is a sea of red and gold. I am a Colt, proud to be so. The rush of standing in the student section and watching the TC line sprint from the parking lot to the section proudly presenting there glistening black and red chests, holding the deer head and TC flag. There's nothing like the feeling of the screams behind you, and Kelsey H., and Kristie D. shattering ears with their piercing screams.
The class of 2011 at least at Troy High have always kinda done stuff on their own. For example the very few first football games freshman year, we decided to make our own student section and sit NEXT to the original, majority of our class did so. It's fun to be our own, this year most all the girls have shirts that say TROY HIGH FOOTBALL on the front and the back says our last name and a big 11. I think I can honestly say I will miss football season. I think in general I will miss highschool. Its drama and all.
There's something about the smell of the leaves, and the cool crisp wind, and the screams of fans in the football stands that make me love fall. Being in highschool, fall means; homecoming, and best of all... football games.
Welcome to Troy, where you are either pop into the world wearing a football, soccer, or cheerleading uniform. Friday nights up through your whole school career consists of competitions, games, and events. Your parents expect you and insist you excel in sports AND education. The rivalry between the two high schools (Troy and Athens) are unreal, up to the point where one school will steal the others beloved mascot. I love high school, I love the superior rivalry to the two schools. I love the football games the most. This Friday, October 22nd 2010, war will begin. Athens and Troy High will face off again for another game. One side of the stands will be a wave of black and white, while the other is a sea of red and gold. I am a Colt, proud to be so. The rush of standing in the student section and watching the TC line sprint from the parking lot to the section proudly presenting there glistening black and red chests, holding the deer head and TC flag. There's nothing like the feeling of the screams behind you, and Kelsey H., and Kristie D. shattering ears with their piercing screams.
The class of 2011 at least at Troy High have always kinda done stuff on their own. For example the very few first football games freshman year, we decided to make our own student section and sit NEXT to the original, majority of our class did so. It's fun to be our own, this year most all the girls have shirts that say TROY HIGH FOOTBALL on the front and the back says our last name and a big 11. I think I can honestly say I will miss football season. I think in general I will miss highschool. Its drama and all.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Then what can stand against....
I am I have been slacking the past few days with my blogs I am greatly sorry, I was kinda sorta grounded.
In my past I've been very much into my Christian faith, this summer I basically fell on my face in it. Maybe it was the friends I was associated with at the time, maybe it was I was mad at Him for something, maybe it was I was confused, or maybe it was all three. Although, this past week, something hit me, it started when I began blogging. I began thinking immensely, thoughts stirring in my head running in and out of why I did the things I did this summer. I began to feel guilty, I have one life to live but I am living it on these things that are just a temp pleasure. Most of you have read my past blogs about how I want to change things, maybe this will give you a better glimpse into my heart.
Sunday, October 10th 2010, was something called UNDONE It was at my church and was a unique worshiping experience. I believe that night, and a close, incredibly bright, talented, girl, Stephanie really changed/challenged me. Recently she has started documenting teens and how we're not just a kid, we can be a difference. She and I have partnered up a bit in her quest for showing like I said, we're not 'just a kid', and she is now following me in my life and journey for what I want. Her goal is to see how much I've changed and how much I can BE the change in the coming year. Having this be my senior year it's a big thing. It's cool to having someone document things going on in your life. We were sitting behind the music all going on and she was asking me what I want to accomplish in life, it was really powerful having the music behind me as I was talking about what I want accomplished. There in that back room having her ask me these questions I came to my conclusion if I want to change things I need to be the change first. This starts with the first step, having no regrets, and completely relaying on Christ. I completely was comfortable in front of her camera, I professed everything I felt about life, God, and anything I could think of.
I am not exactly sure why I wrote this blog, I think it was just to say, I'm ready. I'm ready to do everything I can to start living for Him, a 5 month old weight has finally been lifted from these shoulders.
If you would like to read Steph's blogs (they're incredible do it) her blog spot is this...http://stephaniekhoshaba.blogspot.com/ I suggest you all read it!!
Thanks for reading my randomness and sorry I haven't been blogging the past few days. Ill be back into it :)
Love always,
Sara.
In my past I've been very much into my Christian faith, this summer I basically fell on my face in it. Maybe it was the friends I was associated with at the time, maybe it was I was mad at Him for something, maybe it was I was confused, or maybe it was all three. Although, this past week, something hit me, it started when I began blogging. I began thinking immensely, thoughts stirring in my head running in and out of why I did the things I did this summer. I began to feel guilty, I have one life to live but I am living it on these things that are just a temp pleasure. Most of you have read my past blogs about how I want to change things, maybe this will give you a better glimpse into my heart.
Sunday, October 10th 2010, was something called UNDONE It was at my church and was a unique worshiping experience. I believe that night, and a close, incredibly bright, talented, girl, Stephanie really changed/challenged me. Recently she has started documenting teens and how we're not just a kid, we can be a difference. She and I have partnered up a bit in her quest for showing like I said, we're not 'just a kid', and she is now following me in my life and journey for what I want. Her goal is to see how much I've changed and how much I can BE the change in the coming year. Having this be my senior year it's a big thing. It's cool to having someone document things going on in your life. We were sitting behind the music all going on and she was asking me what I want to accomplish in life, it was really powerful having the music behind me as I was talking about what I want accomplished. There in that back room having her ask me these questions I came to my conclusion if I want to change things I need to be the change first. This starts with the first step, having no regrets, and completely relaying on Christ. I completely was comfortable in front of her camera, I professed everything I felt about life, God, and anything I could think of.
I am not exactly sure why I wrote this blog, I think it was just to say, I'm ready. I'm ready to do everything I can to start living for Him, a 5 month old weight has finally been lifted from these shoulders.
If you would like to read Steph's blogs (they're incredible do it) her blog spot is this...http://stephaniekhoshaba.blogspot.com/ I suggest you all read it!!
Thanks for reading my randomness and sorry I haven't been blogging the past few days. Ill be back into it :)
Love always,
Sara.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Five letters make all the difference in the world
I like to think that I can't live without one thing. This wonderful thing that seeps from speakers, and snakes its way around your problems, to your ears, it infects you, causing you to have this constant tapping in your toes. It's simply influx's in the pitches and tones of someones voice, some good, some bad, it's angry, it's happy, it's all around all over the place. It sometimes doesn't have a name, sometimes you can't even pronounce its name. Sometimes it will tell you to do something spontaneous, radical, inspiring, or just plain down right awesome. It contains 5 letters of the alphabet, M-U-S-I-C.
Majority of us are exposed to it from birth. I'm not one of those kids whose parents put the headphones on my mom's pregnant tummy. Nope, I'm just the kid that feel in love with the word and the idea of it from birth. I'm not sure how it started, maybe it was my mom singing to me as a baby, maybe it was the music my dad would play around the house, who knows. By the time of two I was humming along to everything, banging on my toy drum I had, singing in the fake microphone I had and putting on shows for my parents, singing my own songs. I would burst into the most random songs ever at any moment I had the change to show someone my voice.
That simple word of music has literally pulled me out of the deepest depths of pain; emotionally, sometimes physical, many times mentally, pumping me up for games or tournaments.I have no idea what it is about it but it just has those tricky ways of making its ways to your soul, making it flip flop and change complete attitudes.I feel if you want to be a musician professionally you cannot ever judge others music because then others will judge you more harshly.So to be honest, I really do not dislike any kind of music. My Ipod has Avenged Sevenfold to Miley Cyrus, Lil' Wayne to Phil Wickham, Dubstep to Michael Jackson, basically every genre you could think of. Although, some of those artists I may like more than others it still doesn't mean I'm not open to all kinds of music.
Sometimes in the middle of class I will literally stare off into space and imagine myself bursting into song... kinda like High School Musical? Quite embarrassing I know, you know that song Billionaire? I think that song fully describes the way I feel about music, "....Oh every time close my eyes, I see my name shinning lights, yeah, a different city every night, oh right, I swear the world better prepare, for when I'm a billionaire." I love the rush of being on stage, that adrenaline rush when the kick starts, the burst of ecstasy when the crowd firsts hears you open your mouth, it's like medication for the soul. I look forward to that day when I stand in front of a crowd of THOUSANDS and feel that feeling epically. I will still go by the statement that I said to my sister when I was 5 "I will be famous one day, and when you're mean to me, I wont let you ride in my limo." (I'll still let her ride in my limo) but point being, is that I've had this dream since I was five, what makes it change now?
So to that day when I stand in front of all proclaiming what I love most, that five letter word, that solace in the darkness, my ultimate vice, I will always dream and be determined. No backing down to this girl, it's going to take alot more than just a "Stop singing cause it's annoying." To make me quit what I love. :)
-Sara
"WHOA dream big!!"
-Juno
Majority of us are exposed to it from birth. I'm not one of those kids whose parents put the headphones on my mom's pregnant tummy. Nope, I'm just the kid that feel in love with the word and the idea of it from birth. I'm not sure how it started, maybe it was my mom singing to me as a baby, maybe it was the music my dad would play around the house, who knows. By the time of two I was humming along to everything, banging on my toy drum I had, singing in the fake microphone I had and putting on shows for my parents, singing my own songs. I would burst into the most random songs ever at any moment I had the change to show someone my voice.
That simple word of music has literally pulled me out of the deepest depths of pain; emotionally, sometimes physical, many times mentally, pumping me up for games or tournaments.I have no idea what it is about it but it just has those tricky ways of making its ways to your soul, making it flip flop and change complete attitudes.I feel if you want to be a musician professionally you cannot ever judge others music because then others will judge you more harshly.So to be honest, I really do not dislike any kind of music. My Ipod has Avenged Sevenfold to Miley Cyrus, Lil' Wayne to Phil Wickham, Dubstep to Michael Jackson, basically every genre you could think of. Although, some of those artists I may like more than others it still doesn't mean I'm not open to all kinds of music.
Sometimes in the middle of class I will literally stare off into space and imagine myself bursting into song... kinda like High School Musical? Quite embarrassing I know, you know that song Billionaire? I think that song fully describes the way I feel about music, "....Oh every time close my eyes, I see my name shinning lights, yeah, a different city every night, oh right, I swear the world better prepare, for when I'm a billionaire." I love the rush of being on stage, that adrenaline rush when the kick starts, the burst of ecstasy when the crowd firsts hears you open your mouth, it's like medication for the soul. I look forward to that day when I stand in front of a crowd of THOUSANDS and feel that feeling epically. I will still go by the statement that I said to my sister when I was 5 "I will be famous one day, and when you're mean to me, I wont let you ride in my limo." (I'll still let her ride in my limo) but point being, is that I've had this dream since I was five, what makes it change now?
So to that day when I stand in front of all proclaiming what I love most, that five letter word, that solace in the darkness, my ultimate vice, I will always dream and be determined. No backing down to this girl, it's going to take alot more than just a "Stop singing cause it's annoying." To make me quit what I love. :)
-Sara
"WHOA dream big!!"
-Juno
Thursday, October 7, 2010
quirks.
Quirks...;;
I was shoved into the scary world on march 12th.
I am addicted to my phone.
I get uncomfortable when people look at me.
I am the worst saver in the world.
I love Phoenix Axe.
I am in love with this place called Camp Barnabas.
My heart beat is to music.
Car-washes make me nervous.
Pigs Frighten me.
I am single and happy. :D
I like dancing in the rain.
Thunderstorms make me happy.
I always have a song stuck in my head.
I make lists of randomness.
I am a big procrastinator.
If I want something I will go for something.
I'm very determined to make a name for myself in the world.
I count my steps.
I constantly am keeping a beat to a song.
I don't like bread, only tortillas.
I always speak my mind.
If something makes me mad, I tend to blurt what I'm feeling.
I accept everything, and everyone.
I can't stand having long nails.
I'm really open about my life.
I love running but will say I hate it.
I will do what I want when everyone says not to.
I'm really unfashionable.
I have a best friend who I've never met.
I am reluctant to understanding lax it confuses me greatly.
I take pictures of everything.
I write random poems.
I write music.
I have a baby guitar.
I tend to be really stupid in the choices I make.
I am a big dork.
I love video games.
I'm cocky about random things.
I enjoy fast food.
I cant eat fat without causing me internal pain.
I bust my headphones alot.
I'm really messy.
I'm a dork, I'm a loser, I'm a weirdo, I'm a lover, I'm a daughter, I'm a sister, I'm a niece, imma difference. :)
I was shoved into the scary world on march 12th.
I am addicted to my phone.
I get uncomfortable when people look at me.
I am the worst saver in the world.
I love Phoenix Axe.
I am in love with this place called Camp Barnabas.
My heart beat is to music.
Car-washes make me nervous.
Pigs Frighten me.
I am single and happy. :D
I like dancing in the rain.
Thunderstorms make me happy.
I always have a song stuck in my head.
I make lists of randomness.
I am a big procrastinator.
If I want something I will go for something.
I'm very determined to make a name for myself in the world.
I count my steps.
I constantly am keeping a beat to a song.
I don't like bread, only tortillas.
I always speak my mind.
If something makes me mad, I tend to blurt what I'm feeling.
I accept everything, and everyone.
I can't stand having long nails.
I'm really open about my life.
I love running but will say I hate it.
I will do what I want when everyone says not to.
I'm really unfashionable.
I have a best friend who I've never met.
I am reluctant to understanding lax it confuses me greatly.
I take pictures of everything.
I write random poems.
I write music.
I have a baby guitar.
I tend to be really stupid in the choices I make.
I am a big dork.
I love video games.
I'm cocky about random things.
I enjoy fast food.
I cant eat fat without causing me internal pain.
I bust my headphones alot.
I'm really messy.
I'm a dork, I'm a loser, I'm a weirdo, I'm a lover, I'm a daughter, I'm a sister, I'm a niece, imma difference. :)
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Do the impossible... Do it, I dare you.
What do you do when you are approx 22 hours straight driving, and 1,335 miles away from someone, when you are their literal life line? You accomplish the hardest thing of your life. On July 8th 2010 I had a conversation with a good friend of mine, Chris, he was on the edge of killing himself. That day he had stood up for a friend and got into a fight with a kid, causing him to be badly hurt. With that, he was upset that he wasn't able to help the friend like he hoped to. I could ramble on and on about this young man and the situation he was in but I will put it into short form.
July 9th 2010 he called me and said "Sara...." in a very eerie tone and hung up. Instantaneously I knew something was really wrong, he told me earlier he wasn't home which made it worse. Immediately I got onto Skype to see if I could talk to his brother because they shared an account. He was on, I messaged him telling him, "I know you don't know me, but you need to find your brother, something is seriously wrong" Obviously, he was very confused, a random girl from Michigan he's never met before is telling him his brother is in danger. Mike called Chris, like I expected, no answer. I told him that he wanted to commit suicide. He told me Chris went out with friends earlier that day and he would find him. The situation was critical at this point. Twenty minutes later, I receive a message at 12:58 A.M, "We found him, he is unconscience in his car, but ok, he put his car in his friends garage and tried to suffocate himself, he had written a suicide note, you were mentioned...He wanted to thank you for trying to be so supportive and friendly and there for him" At that point I knew I did the impossible...... If I blew off the feeling of knowing somethings wrong and not telling Mike, Chris wouldn't be alive to this day. Chris now happily lives with his family in Canada, every once and a while we will talk about what happened that night. He is by far the coolest Malaysian/Holland/UK/Houston/Canadian kid ever, I am blessed to have him as a friend.
From me to you... do the impossible, dare to dream. Although, always have the support you can, Ben Mackowski, he was the one who really helped me all through that night, as I was crying my eyes out hour after hour. The moral of the story is to live without regrets, live life to the fullest, because with those regrets, they'll hold you back from who you really are.
"My philosophy in life is, don't regret anything you do, because in the end it makes you who you are"
-Quote from Thirty Seconds to Mars --Closer to the Edge.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLqHDhF-O28&ob=av2n
Thank you to Chris who let me share his story and his triumph. Lots of love to you dude :) xxx
-Sara
July 9th 2010 he called me and said "Sara...." in a very eerie tone and hung up. Instantaneously I knew something was really wrong, he told me earlier he wasn't home which made it worse. Immediately I got onto Skype to see if I could talk to his brother because they shared an account. He was on, I messaged him telling him, "I know you don't know me, but you need to find your brother, something is seriously wrong" Obviously, he was very confused, a random girl from Michigan he's never met before is telling him his brother is in danger. Mike called Chris, like I expected, no answer. I told him that he wanted to commit suicide. He told me Chris went out with friends earlier that day and he would find him. The situation was critical at this point. Twenty minutes later, I receive a message at 12:58 A.M, "We found him, he is unconscience in his car, but ok, he put his car in his friends garage and tried to suffocate himself, he had written a suicide note, you were mentioned...He wanted to thank you for trying to be so supportive and friendly and there for him" At that point I knew I did the impossible...... If I blew off the feeling of knowing somethings wrong and not telling Mike, Chris wouldn't be alive to this day. Chris now happily lives with his family in Canada, every once and a while we will talk about what happened that night. He is by far the coolest Malaysian/Holland/UK/Houston/Canadian kid ever, I am blessed to have him as a friend.
From me to you... do the impossible, dare to dream. Although, always have the support you can, Ben Mackowski, he was the one who really helped me all through that night, as I was crying my eyes out hour after hour. The moral of the story is to live without regrets, live life to the fullest, because with those regrets, they'll hold you back from who you really are.
"My philosophy in life is, don't regret anything you do, because in the end it makes you who you are"
-Quote from Thirty Seconds to Mars --Closer to the Edge.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLqHDhF-O28&ob=av2n
Thank you to Chris who let me share his story and his triumph. Lots of love to you dude :) xxx
-Sara
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
"Stand up. Speak out."
In my post yesterday, I said I cant stand two words, "gay" and "retarded". I bluntly spoke how I felt about the gay community and how we treat them, as Christians, or as not. As a Christian, or as not, we have all been in those awkward situations with the disabled kid being picked on or bullied. Most will sit and ponder, Shall I take a stand, do what's right? Although, then I'm risking my reputation. Or maybe just keep my mouth shut, Someone will stand up for him/her. I cannot even tell you how many times I have been in this situation.
I was the bullied many times, in Kindergarten it was "HAHAHA you have red hair!" (Basically oh, you're different ew). Middle School it was "You are too skinny, zitty, skinny-legged, and red haired" High School it's been "You are too loud, you are obnoxious, you don't shut up, you have red hair."
Back to my point. We bully those who are different than us, in all of those situations mentioned my red hair. I am not going and say I have never bulllied or made fun of someone, because that would be a lie, I very well have. The beginning of high school I was tired of being treated like dirt and would lash out and say things that were truly hurtful and deafening to the soul. I have developed a heart of stone to words of others because of it. Like I said in the beginning of my blog, we have all experianced the disabled kid being picked on. This is the only thing that will melt the heart of stone.
For the past two summers of my high school career I have attended a camp called Camp Barnabas. It is for the mentally, and physically challenged kids who don't get to do normal kid stuff. Some of the examples are riding a horse, rock climbing, going on the ropes course, canoeing or going camping in the woods. There, I am a C.I.A, (Christian in Action) you have a buddy for the whole week who is disabled and you are there best friend. This last summer I had a camper named Morgan, she had MS, a debilitating disease that causes extreme pain and the nerves to misfire. She would often tell me stories of how kids at home would make fun of her because she was in a wheelchair sometimes, just because she was different. What gives a human being the right to make fun of one? Ever! You and I were more than likely, both born with two eyes, ears, a tongue, a mouth, two legs, two hands, two, arms. What makes us so different, besides the fact you make have brown hair, I have red hair, you may to hear all that is said to you, and I may not because of my loss of hearing. Just how do you have the courage to look someone straight in the eyes who may not be able to look you straight back because they are autistic and cannot comprehend you, and say, you're weird and shouldn't talk. When ever is that okay, you and them are both human beings, the same kind.
A close friend of mine Emily P. has a quote on her Facebook that reads "You are not alone. You are strong. You have a voice. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. There are many kids who want to speak up for you, but they don't because they are afraid of becoming bullied themselves" It makes you stop and think, there are the good kids out there. Be that good kid, I know you want to. For myself, and I am sure MANY others, if they saw you standing up for a kid that is disabled or for anyone that matter, you would not loose respect but you would gain it.
Every blog I basically have been challenging you. This time, I want you to stand up for that person, say something, don't sit there in your own ignorance, selfishness and greed. Say "Hey, stop it." As lame as it sounds, it could mean all the world to that kid.You never know if you saved the kids life or not. That one comment, its hope, hope for his soul, hope that there is someone that cares out there, hope that there may be change.
To the bullies out there, stop now when you can, make all the difference in the world to that kid, you never know how quickly it can change.
To the bullied, never give up and always have hope, there is always someone out there that cares about you. Go to your safe place and listen to music, play guitar, or your favorite sport. You are loved. Just always know there are betters things out there than to end your life.
Be the hope. Be the change. Be the revolution. Be the chain reaction.
-Sara
For information on bullying-- http://www.twloha.com/
Thank you Emily P. for letting me use the quote.
I was the bullied many times, in Kindergarten it was "HAHAHA you have red hair!" (Basically oh, you're different ew). Middle School it was "You are too skinny, zitty, skinny-legged, and red haired" High School it's been "You are too loud, you are obnoxious, you don't shut up, you have red hair."
Back to my point. We bully those who are different than us, in all of those situations mentioned my red hair. I am not going and say I have never bulllied or made fun of someone, because that would be a lie, I very well have. The beginning of high school I was tired of being treated like dirt and would lash out and say things that were truly hurtful and deafening to the soul. I have developed a heart of stone to words of others because of it. Like I said in the beginning of my blog, we have all experianced the disabled kid being picked on. This is the only thing that will melt the heart of stone.
For the past two summers of my high school career I have attended a camp called Camp Barnabas. It is for the mentally, and physically challenged kids who don't get to do normal kid stuff. Some of the examples are riding a horse, rock climbing, going on the ropes course, canoeing or going camping in the woods. There, I am a C.I.A, (Christian in Action) you have a buddy for the whole week who is disabled and you are there best friend. This last summer I had a camper named Morgan, she had MS, a debilitating disease that causes extreme pain and the nerves to misfire. She would often tell me stories of how kids at home would make fun of her because she was in a wheelchair sometimes, just because she was different. What gives a human being the right to make fun of one? Ever! You and I were more than likely, both born with two eyes, ears, a tongue, a mouth, two legs, two hands, two, arms. What makes us so different, besides the fact you make have brown hair, I have red hair, you may to hear all that is said to you, and I may not because of my loss of hearing. Just how do you have the courage to look someone straight in the eyes who may not be able to look you straight back because they are autistic and cannot comprehend you, and say, you're weird and shouldn't talk. When ever is that okay, you and them are both human beings, the same kind.
A close friend of mine Emily P. has a quote on her Facebook that reads "You are not alone. You are strong. You have a voice. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. There are many kids who want to speak up for you, but they don't because they are afraid of becoming bullied themselves" It makes you stop and think, there are the good kids out there. Be that good kid, I know you want to. For myself, and I am sure MANY others, if they saw you standing up for a kid that is disabled or for anyone that matter, you would not loose respect but you would gain it.
Every blog I basically have been challenging you. This time, I want you to stand up for that person, say something, don't sit there in your own ignorance, selfishness and greed. Say "Hey, stop it." As lame as it sounds, it could mean all the world to that kid.You never know if you saved the kids life or not. That one comment, its hope, hope for his soul, hope that there is someone that cares out there, hope that there may be change.
To the bullies out there, stop now when you can, make all the difference in the world to that kid, you never know how quickly it can change.
To the bullied, never give up and always have hope, there is always someone out there that cares about you. Go to your safe place and listen to music, play guitar, or your favorite sport. You are loved. Just always know there are betters things out there than to end your life.
Be the hope. Be the change. Be the revolution. Be the chain reaction.
-Sara
For information on bullying-- http://www.twloha.com/
Thank you Emily P. for letting me use the quote.
Monday, October 4, 2010
It gets better? Huh....
There are few things that I cannot stand at all being heard, seen, said, or done. A couple of those are if one will make fun of my hearing loss, my or any others weight, or if I hear the words "gay" or "retarded". Just typing them make me cringe. I have been raised in a completely Christian home, my parents took me to church every Sunday from the time I entered the world until about now.
Over the years of my observation and seeing the way Christians or any other will act around gays make me sick. Myself, I am not gay, but what angers me is how we push them away, critize, or fight with ones who support there life choice. I thought I'd make this clear right away. I believe in Christ, the Bible, and what it stands for and what it says. Do not get me wrong on that. Although, it's how society treats one of that sexuality, that will make me blow my top.
In the past month there has been 4 suicides from bullying. One of those four was homosexuality related. Tyler Clementi, he was as young man who chose to be openly gay. From my research I found that his roommate video taped the young college man having sex. He then posted it on the internet. Of course like our society is, they were all over it. A few days later, he committed suicide. A quote from Mtv's article**, "We have a situation in the past few weeks that focuses attention on the reality of how rampant bullying is in our society and how fragile young people, particularly LGBT young people, are," openly gay New York Council Speaker Christine Quinn explained. "And we wanted to send a message tonight to people who engage in bullying and harassment: It is dangerous. It is not an act without victims. It is literally something that can kill someone else." Just recently 50 cent made a remark on his twitter that "if you are over 25 a man and (don't do a certain act) you should just kill yourself, **** it. The world will be a better place lol." These are the remarks that send these kids over the edge.
I think just point blank and honestly, we need to accept others. Yes, they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, but who am I to judge them? You never know how their home life was. What you live at home influences who you are. When you are young if you are a girl, I am sure your mom dressed you in frilly girly clothes, why, because this is how our society views a girl. For a boy, I'm sure it was grungy, go play in the dirt attitude, this is how society views our boys. It's the way you were raised, its engraved in your head to dress that way. Say, you were raised in a house were they said being gay is completely fine, that is now engraved in your head, this is an envioronmental distinction that has now been made. More than likely that kid is going to grow up to be so. What I am saying is it is not always that persons fault, it's the enviornment they were raised in. So to all the gays, lesbians, bisexuals that have read this, you go on and live your life, love who you want, but know I personally am always praying for you and your hopes to see what is right, and what is wrong.
One last thing I want to share, is Tyler Oakley, my favorite gay man alive. He made a video called It Gets Better. I want everyone to read/watch it and think about your actions you have made in the past. Start a chain reaction of kindness towards gays.
http://www.youtube.com/user/tyleroakley?blend=2&ob=4#p/c/61488594D1D09C18/0/3NJ8b300e94
**Mtv's Article: http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1649228/20101004/story.jhtml?xrs=eml_MTVNews1
Over the years of my observation and seeing the way Christians or any other will act around gays make me sick. Myself, I am not gay, but what angers me is how we push them away, critize, or fight with ones who support there life choice. I thought I'd make this clear right away. I believe in Christ, the Bible, and what it stands for and what it says. Do not get me wrong on that. Although, it's how society treats one of that sexuality, that will make me blow my top.
In the past month there has been 4 suicides from bullying. One of those four was homosexuality related. Tyler Clementi, he was as young man who chose to be openly gay. From my research I found that his roommate video taped the young college man having sex. He then posted it on the internet. Of course like our society is, they were all over it. A few days later, he committed suicide. A quote from Mtv's article**, "We have a situation in the past few weeks that focuses attention on the reality of how rampant bullying is in our society and how fragile young people, particularly LGBT young people, are," openly gay New York Council Speaker Christine Quinn explained. "And we wanted to send a message tonight to people who engage in bullying and harassment: It is dangerous. It is not an act without victims. It is literally something that can kill someone else." Just recently 50 cent made a remark on his twitter that "if you are over 25 a man and (don't do a certain act) you should just kill yourself, **** it. The world will be a better place lol." These are the remarks that send these kids over the edge.
I think just point blank and honestly, we need to accept others. Yes, they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, but who am I to judge them? You never know how their home life was. What you live at home influences who you are. When you are young if you are a girl, I am sure your mom dressed you in frilly girly clothes, why, because this is how our society views a girl. For a boy, I'm sure it was grungy, go play in the dirt attitude, this is how society views our boys. It's the way you were raised, its engraved in your head to dress that way. Say, you were raised in a house were they said being gay is completely fine, that is now engraved in your head, this is an envioronmental distinction that has now been made. More than likely that kid is going to grow up to be so. What I am saying is it is not always that persons fault, it's the enviornment they were raised in. So to all the gays, lesbians, bisexuals that have read this, you go on and live your life, love who you want, but know I personally am always praying for you and your hopes to see what is right, and what is wrong.
One last thing I want to share, is Tyler Oakley, my favorite gay man alive. He made a video called It Gets Better. I want everyone to read/watch it and think about your actions you have made in the past. Start a chain reaction of kindness towards gays.
http://www.youtube.com/user/tyleroakley?blend=2&ob=4#p/c/61488594D1D09C18/0/3NJ8b300e94
**Mtv's Article: http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1649228/20101004/story.jhtml?xrs=eml_MTVNews1
Sunday, October 3, 2010
First(ish) blog.
I posted this on tumblr but enjoyed the layout of this better.
So I couldn’t exactly think if I should do something serious, funny, witty, or a combination of all. I just figured I’d do something like explaining me who I am, why I live, yada yada yada.
First of all, my name is Sara, I was dropped into this thing we call society 17 years back. I attend a school, in the Metro-Detroit area. I walk into the doors of the hormone infested zoo every morning to go learn in my prison cells. I attend six prison cells a day until 2:14 pm where I am release and retreat to my car, Kermit. It’s a green Bonneville…very old. R.I.P Pierre, mySaturn . Anywho, I live in a house with a sister, my mom, and dad. I work my booty off at a local grocery store, always fun. Then I have these people I call my friends, sometimes I’m not sure why, because they are the weirdest, most crazy, influential, smart human beings ever. There is Lauren, Melanie, Kristie, Becca, Kirby, and Ashely. They all have a place in my heart and know where that place is, and where they stand. :)
I’m not your average 17 year old girl. I don’t like shopping, being girly, squealing in the hallways, gossiping about the latest couple or sitting back and letting the world fly by before my eyes. I am the girl that loves sports and will openly talk about them, being in the mud and dirt, gossiping about the latest draft, and standing up for what I believe in and passionately changing something. If you know me, you probably know that I can’t stand seeing others in pain, and will go out of my way to help them. You know, I’ll do what I know is right even if all of society is saying Sara, this is impossible and completely absurd. Since I was little I knew I was made for better and greater things than this hum-hoe town in the Metro Area. I knew one day I’d make it in the big time, it wouldn’t be for the fame, or the money or the acceptance, it would be for me, my soul.
Now, Friday, Oct., 1st Rachel’s Challenge came tomy school . The speaker was incredible, he spoke of love and how we need to be kind to others because you never know when it can start a chain reaction. The girl, Rachel, was the first person killed in the Columbine shooting, 1999. The odd thing is, Rachel and I had alot of things in common. She would go out of her way to be kind to someone, she couldn’t stand watching others in pain, she would ask the kid sitting in the corner to come sit with her at lunch . Most of all she knew that she would one day be the change in the world. After the speaker spoke, I quietly walked myself up to the stage, stood in front of him, said “My name is Sara….” and just lost it. I was blubbering like a baby. I know that my school needs a change and I am so determined to be part of that.
I want to be known for bigger and better things, I will one day be written in the history books. I can’t tell you exactly what that is but I will one day do it. Here is my question to you… are you ready to be that change? Do you have the determination, blood, sweat, and tears, to go out of your way and make a difference? If you do I want you to follow me in my quest for a change, for a revolution. Our generation is always kicked on the ground saying we are worthless, spoiled brats. But those who say that are the ones who raised us. So let us come out on top and in 5, 10, 15 years prove to those who doubted, that we made a monumental change, and our generation is now written in the history books and the one who stood up for what they believed in. So let us honor Rachel’s Challenge… let us start a chain reaction.
For more information on Rachel’s Challenge go to http://www.rachelschallenge.org/.
-Sara.
So I couldn’t exactly think if I should do something serious, funny, witty, or a combination of all. I just figured I’d do something like explaining me who I am, why I live, yada yada yada.
First of all, my name is Sara, I was dropped into this thing we call society 17 years back. I attend a school, in the Metro-Detroit area. I walk into the doors of the hormone infested zoo every morning to go learn in my prison cells. I attend six prison cells a day until 2:14 pm where I am release and retreat to my car, Kermit. It’s a green Bonneville…very old. R.I.P Pierre, my
I’m not your average 17 year old girl. I don’t like shopping, being girly, squealing in the hallways, gossiping about the latest couple or sitting back and letting the world fly by before my eyes. I am the girl that loves sports and will openly talk about them, being in the mud and dirt, gossiping about the latest draft, and standing up for what I believe in and passionately changing something. If you know me, you probably know that I can’t stand seeing others in pain, and will go out of my way to help them. You know, I’ll do what I know is right even if all of society is saying Sara, this is impossible and completely absurd. Since I was little I knew I was made for better and greater things than this hum-hoe town in the Metro Area. I knew one day I’d make it in the big time, it wouldn’t be for the fame, or the money or the acceptance, it would be for me, my soul.
Now, Friday, Oct., 1st Rachel’s Challenge came to
I want to be known for bigger and better things, I will one day be written in the history books. I can’t tell you exactly what that is but I will one day do it. Here is my question to you… are you ready to be that change? Do you have the determination, blood, sweat, and tears, to go out of your way and make a difference? If you do I want you to follow me in my quest for a change, for a revolution. Our generation is always kicked on the ground saying we are worthless, spoiled brats. But those who say that are the ones who raised us. So let us come out on top and in 5, 10, 15 years prove to those who doubted, that we made a monumental change, and our generation is now written in the history books and the one who stood up for what they believed in. So let us honor Rachel’s Challenge… let us start a chain reaction.
For more information on Rachel’s Challenge go to http://www.rachelschallenge.org/.
-Sara.
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