Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Into the darkness you shine.

What do you do when all else fails for you and you are torn to pieces?

I believe at one point in everyone of our lives we come to a fork  in the road facing a monumental choice. Well maybe its not a choice, maybe it's a regret that haunts you, maybe it is a sickness that ails you. I know for me every one of those things has happened to me at least once. My biggest disturbance of anything is watching people in pain or suffering.
I have a baby cousin (Nicky Shust), he is 2 years old and has a disease that is killing him. Literally. Mind you the kids two, he has a 104.5 temp currently, and pnemonia. The disease he has makes him have a feeding tube up his nose and a tube to his tummy that helps him breathe without aspirating. I can't tell you exactly what he has, cause honestly I don't know. His father is Aaron Shust, if you know who he is, he is a Christian musician. Probably the most determined, Godly, faithful, and loving man I have ever met. This is deff Satan trying to get his way into their lives but God testing the faith of the Shust family and the friends and family around them.
There is an up to being a christian musician and your son being ill. You get extreme amounts of prayer. But this is what I ask of whomever is reading this, you  may not believe in God, or anything of that sort. I am asking you personally, this is a childs life on the line, keep him in your prayers, thoughts or anything. He needs healing and pray for his family for peace, imagine the anxiety they are going through.

This is deff one of my shorter blogs but for some reason its been haunting me all day to post something about him. You can follow/read what is going on in his twitter or his blog at...

Twitter:http://twitter.com/aaronshust
Blog: http://aaronshust.blogspot.com/

Once again please read and pray for him.

Much love,
Sara c. Barry

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Reluctant or Ready here it comes. Reality.

I don't know about you but there are only a good few things that really terrify me...Spiders, pigs, and College. For the past good 6 months since about when the seniors left, all I have been flooded with "What am I going to do when I grow up?" When you're little it's simple; A princess, a mommy, a firefighter, or a policeman. Now it's more like criminal psychologist, child psychologist, social worker, or something in the medical field.

Just recently I got accepted to Saginaw Valley State University (SVSU). At first I was thrilled, thinking, "OK, I somewhat have an idea of where I want to go now, I'm set." Then it hit me... you are officially going to be thrown into the real world in a mere 203 days whether you are reluctant or ready.Being a senior everything is put into reality mode, you literally are basically making hard core life choices at 17 and 18. When you click Submit for that college that you have wanted to go to since you were a freshman, it's a weird gut feeling of relief, excitement and the unknown.

As a Freshman I remember walking into the doors of Troy High School with my sister thinking, "OK, 4 years from now, I will be walking out these same doors that I came into today a completely different person." I watched my sister go through the whole application process and scholarship thing when she was a Junior and I was a Freshman. I was naive and had no idea of what high school had in front of me. Freshman year was def my growing year.As a Sophomore I met friends that would be my best friends and then be my worst enemies at one point. Although they were the people that made me stronger and have now helped me in the situation of college now. I remember sitting in the audience watching my sister walk across the stage and receiving her diploma, as that age I still had no care in the world thinking its to far away to care about. Junior year, it hits you. Hello to 3 days of pure testing and anguishing pressure for your life ahead of you. You have to start thinking about college and where you want to go. It is the critical year they tell you. One memory I have of Junior year is sitting in my third hour when the Seniors of '10 were let out of their classes for the Senior Picnic. I heard the slamming of doors opening and closing, a stampede of feet towards the door exiting for the last time, their screams echoing through the halls sounding of pure joy. I texted all my friends "It's here, Senior year, we are the ones who rule the school, one year left, Seniors '11"

Now, here we are today November 18th 2010, I am a Senior and have finally made it. All those thoughts of thinking how simple this year would be have gone out the window. Although, in my hardest year I have the best grades I ever have. Now I just have to make it these 203 days. The day of graduation I am going to be that girl crying her eyes out. If you have ever thought about it you spend more time with the kids that you go to school with than most of your family. I put it into the explanation to my mom as "These kids are like your family, you fight and bicker with them, but then there are times when you are united and the best of friends."Now think about that, more than likely, unless you are going to MSU or CMU or a common college for us THS kids, we wont see each other again. Maybe at the reunions but who actually goes to those? So what I am saying is I think it's time to live with out regrets, enjoy every moment we have with each other. These are some of the last, and best memories we want to have of highschool although we have half a year left :)

So I think in a since I will be reluctant to be leaving all who've been when since I was a toddler. But I am ready to leave this hum-hoe town and make a name of myself.

Much love,
Sara B.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Welcome.

Basically a 2 week old post, never got to finish it,

There's something about the smell of the leaves, and the cool crisp wind, and the screams of fans in the football stands that make me love fall. Being in highschool, fall means; homecoming, and best of all... football games.
Welcome to Troy, where you are either pop into the world wearing a football, soccer, or cheerleading uniform. Friday nights up through your whole school career consists of competitions, games, and events. Your parents expect you and insist you excel in sports AND education. The rivalry between the two high schools (Troy and Athens) are unreal, up to the point where one school will steal the others beloved mascot. I love high school, I love the superior rivalry to the two schools. I love the football games the most. This Friday, October 22nd 2010, war will begin. Athens and Troy High will face off again for another game. One side of the stands will be a wave of black and white, while the other is a sea of red and gold. I am a Colt, proud to be so. The rush of standing in the student section and watching the TC line sprint from the parking lot to the section proudly presenting there glistening black and red chests, holding the deer head and TC flag. There's nothing like the feeling of the screams behind you, and Kelsey H., and Kristie D. shattering ears with their piercing screams.

The class of 2011 at least at Troy High have always kinda done stuff on their own. For example the very few first football games freshman year, we decided to make our own student section  and sit NEXT to the original, majority of our class did so. It's fun to be our own, this year most all the girls have shirts that say TROY HIGH FOOTBALL on the front and the back says our last name and a big 11. I think I can honestly say I will miss football season. I think in general I will miss highschool. Its drama and all.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Then what can stand against....

I am I have been slacking the past few days with my blogs I am greatly sorry, I was kinda sorta grounded.

In my past I've been very much into my Christian faith, this summer I basically fell on my face in it. Maybe it was the friends I was associated with at the time, maybe it was I was mad at Him for something, maybe it was I was confused, or maybe it was all three. Although, this past week, something hit me, it started when I began blogging. I began thinking immensely, thoughts stirring in my head running in and out of why I did the things I did this summer. I began to feel guilty, I have one life to live but I am living it on these things that are just a temp pleasure. Most of you have read my past blogs about how I want to change things, maybe this will give you a better glimpse into my heart.

Sunday, October 10th 2010, was something called UNDONE It was at my church and was a unique worshiping experience. I believe that night, and a close, incredibly bright, talented, girl, Stephanie really changed/challenged me. Recently she has started documenting teens and how we're not just a kid, we can be a difference. She and I have partnered up a bit in her quest for showing like I said, we're not 'just a kid', and she is now following me in my life and journey for what I want. Her goal is to see how much I've changed and how much I can BE the change in the coming year. Having this be my senior year it's a big thing. It's cool to having someone document things going on in your life. We were sitting behind the music all going on and she was asking me what I want to accomplish in life, it was really powerful having the music behind me as I was talking about what I want accomplished. There in that back room having her ask me these questions I came to my conclusion if I want to change things I need to be the change first. This starts with the first step, having no regrets, and completely relaying on Christ. I completely was comfortable in front of her camera, I professed everything I felt about life, God, and anything I could think of.

I am not exactly sure why I wrote this blog, I think it was just to say, I'm ready. I'm ready to do everything I can to start living for Him, a 5 month old weight has finally been lifted from these shoulders.

If you would like to read Steph's blogs (they're incredible do it) her blog spot is this...http://stephaniekhoshaba.blogspot.com/ I suggest you all read it!!

Thanks for reading my randomness and sorry I haven't been blogging the past few days. Ill be back into it :)

Love always,
Sara.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Five letters make all the difference in the world

    I like to think that I can't live without one thing. This wonderful thing that seeps from speakers, and snakes its way around your problems, to your ears, it infects you, causing you to have this constant tapping in your toes. It's simply influx's in the pitches and tones of someones voice, some good, some bad, it's angry, it's happy, it's all around all over the place. It sometimes doesn't have a name, sometimes you can't even pronounce its name. Sometimes it will tell you to do something spontaneous, radical, inspiring, or just plain down right awesome. It contains 5 letters of the alphabet, M-U-S-I-C.
    Majority of us are exposed to it from birth. I'm not one of those kids whose parents put the headphones on my mom's pregnant tummy. Nope, I'm just the kid that feel in love with the word and the idea of it from birth. I'm not sure how it started, maybe it was my mom singing to me as a baby, maybe it was the music my dad would play around the house, who knows. By the time of two I was humming along to everything, banging on my toy drum I had, singing in the fake microphone I had and putting on shows for my parents, singing my own songs. I would burst into the most random songs ever at any moment I had the change to show someone my voice.
    That simple word of music has literally pulled me out of the deepest depths of pain; emotionally, sometimes physical, many times mentally, pumping me up for games or tournaments.I have no idea what it is about it but it just has those tricky ways of making its ways to your soul, making it flip flop and change complete attitudes.I feel if you want to be a musician professionally you cannot ever judge others music because then others will judge you more harshly.So to be honest, I really do not dislike any kind of music. My Ipod has Avenged Sevenfold to Miley Cyrus, Lil' Wayne to Phil Wickham, Dubstep to Michael Jackson, basically every genre you could think of. Although, some of those artists I may like more than others it still doesn't mean I'm not open to all kinds of music.

    Sometimes in the middle of class I will literally stare off into space and imagine myself bursting into song... kinda like High School Musical? Quite embarrassing I know, you know that song Billionaire? I think that song fully describes the way I feel about music, "....Oh every time close my eyes, I see my name shinning lights, yeah, a different city every night, oh right, I swear the world better prepare, for when I'm a billionaire." I love the rush of being on stage, that adrenaline rush when the kick starts, the burst of ecstasy when the crowd firsts hears you open your mouth, it's like medication for the soul. I look forward to that day when I stand in front of a crowd of THOUSANDS and feel that feeling epically. I will still go by the statement that I said to my sister when I was 5 "I will be famous one day, and when you're mean to me, I wont let you ride in my limo." (I'll still let her ride in my limo) but point being, is that I've had this dream since I was five, what makes it change now?
   So to that day when I stand in front of all proclaiming what I love most, that five letter word, that solace in the darkness, my ultimate vice, I will always dream and be determined. No backing down to this girl, it's going to take alot more than just a "Stop singing cause it's annoying." To make me quit what I love. :)

-Sara

"WHOA dream big!!"
-Juno

Thursday, October 7, 2010

quirks.

Quirks...;;
I was shoved into the scary world on march 12th.
I am addicted to my phone.
I get uncomfortable when people look at me.
I am the worst saver in the world.
I love Phoenix Axe.
I am in love with this place called Camp Barnabas.
My heart beat is to music.
Car-washes make me nervous.
Pigs Frighten me.
I am single and happy. :D
I like dancing in the rain.
Thunderstorms make me happy.
I always have a song stuck in my head.
I make lists of randomness.
I am a big procrastinator.
If I want something I will go for something.
I'm very determined to make a name for myself in the world.
I count my steps.
I constantly am keeping a beat to a song.
I don't like bread, only tortillas.
I always speak my mind.
If something makes me mad, I tend to blurt what I'm feeling.
I accept everything, and everyone.
I can't stand having long nails.
I'm really open about my life.
I love running but will say I hate it.
I will do what I want when everyone says not to.
I'm really unfashionable.
I have a best friend who I've never met.
I am reluctant to understanding lax it confuses me greatly.
I take pictures of everything.
I write random poems.
I write music.
I have a baby guitar.
I tend to be really stupid in the choices I make.
I am a big dork.
I love video games.
I'm cocky about random things.
I enjoy fast food.
I cant eat fat without causing me internal pain.
I bust my headphones alot.
I'm really messy.

I'm a dork, I'm a loser, I'm a weirdo, I'm a lover, I'm a daughter, I'm a sister, I'm a niece, imma difference. :)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Do the impossible... Do it, I dare you.

     What do you do when you are approx 22 hours straight driving, and 1,335 miles away from someone, when you are their literal life line? You accomplish the hardest thing of your life. On July 8th 2010 I had a conversation with a good friend of mine, Chris, he was on the edge of killing himself. That day he had stood up for a friend and got into a fight with a kid, causing him to be badly hurt. With that, he was upset that he wasn't able to help the friend like he hoped to. I could ramble on and on about this young man and the situation he was in but I will put it into short form.

     July 9th 2010 he called me and said "Sara...." in a very eerie tone and hung up. Instantaneously I knew something was really wrong, he told me earlier he wasn't home which made it worse. Immediately I got onto Skype to see if I could talk to his brother because they shared an account. He was on, I messaged him telling him, "I know you don't know me, but you need to find your brother, something is seriously wrong" Obviously, he was very confused, a random girl from Michigan he's never met before is telling him his brother is in danger. Mike called Chris, like I expected, no answer. I told him that he wanted to commit suicide. He told me Chris went out with friends earlier that day and he would find him. The situation was critical at this point. Twenty minutes later, I receive a message at 12:58 A.M, "We found him, he is unconscience in his car, but ok, he put his car in his friends garage and tried to suffocate himself,  he had written a suicide note, you were mentioned...He wanted to thank you for trying to be so supportive and friendly and there for him" At that point I knew I did the impossible...... If I blew off the feeling of knowing somethings wrong and not telling Mike, Chris wouldn't be alive to this day. Chris now happily lives with his family in Canada, every once and a while we will talk about what happened that night. He is by far the coolest Malaysian/Holland/UK/Houston/Canadian kid ever, I am blessed to have him as a friend.
     From me to you... do the impossible, dare to dream. Although, always have the support you can, Ben Mackowski, he was the one who really helped me all through that night, as I was crying my eyes out hour after hour. The moral of the story is to live without regrets, live life to the fullest, because with those regrets, they'll hold you back from who you really are.

"My philosophy in life is, don't regret anything you do, because in the end it makes you who you are"
-Quote from Thirty Seconds to Mars --Closer to the Edge.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLqHDhF-O28&ob=av2n


Thank you to Chris who let me share his story and his triumph. Lots of love to you dude :) xxx 


-Sara